Christianity and the Masculine Ideal

Greatness vs. Self-Sacrifice

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. - John 12:24

The Christian ideal of masculinity is self-sacrifice, as demonstrated in the life of Jesus.

Self-sacrifice is a funny thing to get your head around. It’s markedly different from the pre-Christian ancient Greek ideal of manhood, which is something like the ambition and greatness demonstrated by a figure like Achilles. We have both Christian and pre-Christian ideals floating around in our modern American culture, and sometimes we can find ourselves psychologically torn between the two.

On the surface “self-sacrifice” might seem to be an inferior ideal to “greatness and ambition”. This is the criticism Nietzsche made of Christianity. It seems to be a philosophy for weak, almost suicidal people who despise living.

But does this describe Jesus? Was Jesus weak, depressed, and avoidant of life? When we read the gospel, we see this is not the case.

Jesus was not a shrinking violet, eager to be done with the world. Rather, he is a confident man who is aware of his own worth. To his critics among the religious authorities, he came across as arrogant, saying things like “I am the way, and the truth, and the life”. In his case, this wasn’t arrogance, but honesty. We too should have an honest assessment of our own self-worth.

When people heard Jesus and saw the works he did, many people wanted to make him King. They saw a royal quality in him, even though his clothing was humble and poor. When the authorities arrested him they gave him a crown of thorns and a staff of reeds to mock his kingship. But the majesty of Christ had the power to transform the meaning of these mocking symbols to be real signs of his ultimate authority. The regalness of Christ could not be destroyed. Even on the cross, the thief crucified next to him acknowledges him as Lord.

True self-sacrifice requires a great sense of the self. The sacrifice of a self that is close to nothing has little effect or power. You might think that weak and depressed people would have the easiest time with sacrifice, but actually they find it too difficult. To offer a sacrifice requires courage, clarity, and conviction. Any soldier knows that it is the best, most virtuous camrade who is most likely to give his life for a friend.

This is the meaning of masculine self-sacrifice then, as is practiced in Christianity: that we build ourselves up to be the highest and greatest person that we can be, we find a worthy sacrifice on behalf of others, and then we give ourselves fully into it. The promise that God gives is that to the extent we do this, we will see resurrection into a new, superior kind of life.

It is this kind of activity that sanctifies the world. There is an alchemy in holy activity whereby the sum is more than the parts, whereby 1 + 1 = 3, where five loaves and two fishes can feed 10,000 people. Giving is a creative act.

This is why self-sacrifice as a masculine ideal is superior to the pagan Greek ideal of “ambition and greatness”. Ambition is competitive. It is a contest that is a zero-sum game. For Achilles to ascend to greatness, Hector must fall.

Let’s bring this out of the clouds for a moment and give a concrete example of a normal man that emobodies this ideal. I offer my dad. Perhaps your dad is like this too.

My dad is a very capable man. He has a curious mind and a deep sense of duty. He is a man of great love.

He never had a great education and so my family was poor much of my childhood. But my dad worked hard, fixing machines in car-part factories. Sometimes he worked two jobs.

Around my dad grew life. He raised three children. But also many other people began to depend on him. He was helpful and hard-working. My extended family looked to him in times of trouble and need, as did people from his church community, and even friends that he knew from work. My sister had three children of her own, and my dad and mom are very involved grandparents.

There’s a beautiful legacy that resulted from my dad’s life of humble hard work and giving. A whole little community was built on his back. But it wasn’t without cost. In fact, it cost him everything. The Bible makes the analogy directly, saying that the relationship between husband and wife is like the relationship between Christ and the church. The ultimate act of creativity requires nothing less than that you give your body and blood.

My dad’s big fantasy was always to rent an RV and travel the United States. But between money worries and my mom’s distaste for travel, he never got to do that. Now he’s too sick to travel much.

I used to feel bad for him that he never got to live his dreams. I guess I still do. But he’s a man that had his priorities straight. He never dropped his responsibilities to others so that he could go experience some entertainment for himself. To get the prize of the greatest value, sometimes you have to give up on the lesser things. There is no achievement without sacrifice.

I lived the first part of my life doing the opposite of my dad. I chased my own desires, dreams, and fantasies. That was a tasty way to live for awhile, but the flavor has run out of it. Now I’m trying to navigate life more in the way he did. I’m looking for places to give myself. And when there is no apparent place to give of myself, then I build myself up so there is more of me to give.

I’m a man in the world searching for an opportunity for resurrection.